Rediscovering Intimacy

Written By Blue Haired Jezebel

February 2024 Devotional

Our culture has rewritten the definition of intimacy to almost exclusively refer to sex. A frequently used euphemism for sexual behavior is “being intimate.” In this understanding of intimacy, we have both flattened and narrowed our options for enjoying intimacy, creating a severe deficit in our society. One reason that many Christians see celibacy as being unfair and even unattainable in the long term is our incorrect assumption that love and intimacy are most deeply found in sexual relationships. In reality, while the marriage covenant and sexual bond are indeed deep places of love and intimacy, they are by no means the only (or even best) ways for humans to find and flourish in intimate relationships. 

In 1969, Henri Nouwen published a series of essays entitled Intimacy: Pastoral Psychological Essays. In the introduction, he posits questions regarding intimacy and relationships with God and people. Nouwen states that the issues facing young adults on college campuses in the late 1960s– war, poverty, and racism– can all be traced back to “man’s seldom articulated and often unrecognized desire for a real home in this world.” In this statement, he defines his understanding of intimacy– a real home. While the internet and social media have certainly increased the amount of news we receive and the speed with which we receive it, the events of the world Nouwen describes aren’t really much different from those we face today. In 2024, students on college campuses are still grappling with the global and personal implications of war, poverty, and racism. Add to that, today, a growing number of us who are well beyond our college years are struggling to find our real homes as well. 

Love, intimacy, trust, and connection, knowing and being known are a few of the needs that we, as image-bearers, were created to need. Receiving those in genuine and authentic ways, not hollow imitations is part of learning to lean into Jesus and the community in which we live.

 

Peter tells us in his second letter that “His divine power has given us everything we need for a godly life through our knowledge of Him who called us by His own glory and goodness.” - 2 Peter 1:3

 

So as we learn and grow more and more in Jesus and the fact that His belovedness is a beautiful part of our union with Him, we will find true and lasting intimacy with Him and with others.

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Blue Haired Jezebel

Bekah Mason, ThM, is a Pastoral Clinical Care Resident at a hospital in Tennessee, where she lives with her two kids, three dogs, and one cat. Previously she has been a teacher and administrator, both in schools and nonprofit organizations. Bekah’s work has included advocacy for survivors of domestic violence and church/spiritual abuse, as well as the LGBTQ+ community. She hopes to live long enough to see the church love sexual and gender minorities the way Jesus loves us— wholeheartedly.

"My journey regarding the intersection of faith and sexuality began as a queer preacher’s kid and grandkid, where the two have always intersected and intertwined in my life. I struggled to reconcile them when I recognized a call to serve Jesus in ministry because I believed someone couldn’t both love Jesus and be gay. I’ve spent my adult life dealing with the impact of that lie and have tried to help others work through it as well. Writing has always been my most effective way to process and communicate, so when gay marriage became a hot political topic in the early 2000s, I moved my thoughts from private journals to public blogs and articles. I saw Christians making horrible judgmental statements to and about gay people, and I had to speak up about how their words hurt me and so many other Christians living closeted lives. Through my writing, I hope people recognize that they are not alone in their desire to love and serve Jesus faithfully while also authentically sharing their journey as sexual and/or gender minorities." — Bekah

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Can I Give My Love?
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Chapter 1: How Did I Even Get Here?