Leaving My Egypt

October 2024 Devotional
Trusting God’s Hand from Egypt to the Promised Land

Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go. – Joshua 1:9

What if God is asking you to move forward, but you hesitate—even though, deep down, you know it’s necessary? That’s where I am right now. Sometimes, it feels like I’m the only one wrestling with this, but maybe you’ve been there, too. This season of my life is like the changing colors of autumn leaves: some things need to fall down so new life can emerge. A dear friend once compared my journey to leaving Egypt and stepping into the desert. I’ve walked through spiritual deserts before, and while they bring me closer to Jesus, they’re not easy places. Deserts have a way of piercing straight into your soul.

Honestly, I’m still grieving my Egypt. How do I process the end of a long, secret gay relationship with someone I deeply loved while navigating both the loss and the transformation God is calling me to? How do I hold on to the good while surrendering the unhealthy? Jesus says, “If you love me, you will obey my commands” (John 14:15); luckily, He also promises us a Helper. This is a deeply personal and challenging journey—one that often feels impossible to put into words. Yet I know this: God was with me in Egypt, and He is with me in the desert on the way to the promised land. God is good. Period.

As I paused to reflect, an image came to mind. I saw myself as a child at a playground, reluctant to leave because I was having so much fun. My father called me by name, asking me to come. I resisted at first, wanting to stay—until he gently took my hand and said, 'I’m taking you to another playground, bigger, better, and safer for you.' In that moment, I clung to him, trusting his lead. That’s just like my Father—always guiding me to something greater.

It reminded me of the verse that led to my “come-on-in” aka coming out. In Joshua 1:9, God tells me not to fear, but to be strong and courageous for the task ahead. And He is with me, always. Though I fear and tremble, I’ve placed my trust in Him. Have I forgotten about Egypt? No. But I know God is using this desert—a place of healing, surrender, and restoration—until Egypt no longer has power over me. And just as the Hebrews, we might have to take the long route. 

Good news. Through it all, my Father looks at me with pride, grace and love, gently nudging me forward. “Step by step”, He says. “Manna for each day.”

So my friend, what is your Egypt? Are you afraid of the fall or the winter of your life? Remember, spring is coming. Do not fear—be strong and courageous. God is with you. Think about a bigger, better, and safer playground.

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