On Pride
It’s that time of year again. Pride month. I can feel so many readers recoiling at the thought even as I write this. But what if I told you, it’s not what you think it is? Or at least, it isn’t always. What if I told you that Pride month is a unique opportunity to celebrate the glory of God, and not by getting into arguments with gay people on Twitter?
To understand Pride, we need to first understand shame. The dark smog that envelops LGBTQ+ folks, that hovers over us like a personal raincloud, that separates us from others like a billowing curtain. Everyone has shame, but it tends to follow us LGBTQ+ folks like the smell of smoke after a bonfire. And it shouldn’t. Regardless of sexual ethics, preferences, or behavior, we are all children of God, made in His image. Guilt has a place, the feeling that we did something wrong. But the feeling that we are something wrong has no place. It is a lie of the Enemy. That lie is often perpetuated for LGBTQ+ folks by the church, either by intention or ignorance. And it is a lie that does what the Enemy does best. It steals, kills, and destroys. How do LGBTQ+ people combat the lie? Their antidote to shame is Pride.
For some LGBTQ+ folks, this Pride is the vainglory that early Church fathers warned against. It is the idea that they are somehow perfect by their own merit, and more so than others. But I also see in Pride the expression of true glory. It’s people saying “I am no worse or better than anyone else '' in defiance of shame. In The Screwtape Letters, C.S. Lewis wrote about humility that “[God] wants him, in the end, to be so free from any bias in his own favor that he can rejoice in his own talents as frankly and gratefully as in his neighbor’s talents—or in a sunrise, an elephant, or a waterfall. He wants each man, in the long run, to be able to recognize all creatures (even himself) as glorious and excellent things.” In some ways, Pride can be an expression of true humility, and an expression of genuine love for one’s neighbor when straight, cisgender people bear witness to the humanity of their LGBTQ+ siblings.
Pride is a funny word. It has two very different meanings in English. It can refer either to vainglory or merely to self-esteem. And our lives can reflect either of these meanings; we can live in boastfulness or we can live in belovedness. I’ve seen LGBTQ+ folks do both. I’ve seen straight, cisgender people do both. I’ve seen one individual do both over the course of an hour. My point being, there’s a way that you can observe Pride and honor God all at once. Affirm the dignity and honor of LGBTQ+ folks this month and every month. And remember, God is proud of you.
Ways to Observe Pride
For those in our community who are out, write a letter to your younger self sharing what your life is like now. Share the joys and the sorrows of getting to be the person you are now. What encouragement can you give your younger self? What lessons have you learned?
For those in our community who are not out, write a letter to your older self sharing how you hope things will be. Let God meet you in that space. (Coming out is not a requirement or a mandatory milestone, but a lot of people hope to be in a place where it’s safe and comfortable to do so. Whether your dreams for the future include that or not, you deserve the right to make that choice.)
For our allies, pray for a LGBTQ+ person you know for something that has nothing to do with them being LGBTQ+. For example, pray that they get the job they’ve been wanting, or that their summer cold clears up. Remind yourself of the other aspects of this person as an embodied human being, and bring those things to God. If we only pray for people in regards to what we might view as their faults, we don’t grow in love and empathy for them the way God wants us to.